Tuesday, March 21, 2017
A few weeks ago was Gus's funeral. It was very hard to say goodbye. I did a speech at the funeral. I didn't like my speech, but it seemed to touch the hearts of his mom and dad. 8 days before his actual funeral, he wanted Isaac and I to meet in the heart of Jesus and say our goodbyes. He wanted to attend his own funeral. I just wish it could've been me. Why did it have to be Gus? Why does it have to be any of us? At the funeral, Peter Van Houghten was there, drunk as always afterward. I didn't want to speak with him, but he had other ideas. He talked to me about why he was like the person he was. He had a daughter, a lot like Anna, that died when she was only 8 years old from leukemia. I didn't know this about him, that's why he wrote the book. He said he saw so much in me that he saw in his daughter. I felt bad for him, but he needed to go back home. So when he got back home from his flight, I went over to Isaac's house. Isaac and I were talking when he said that Gus was writing something after we got back from Amsterdam. I thought it was the rest of An Imperial Affliction that he was going to write me. So this got me thinking, I had to find it. I needed to see what Gus was writing. I went over to his house, searched for something that would give me a sign on where it was. I came out with nothing. I told his mom and dad that if they found anything, give me a call. A few days later, they called, they found a black notebook with pages ripped out of the front. I thought and thought were it would be, and then, I finally got it. I emailed Peter's (no longer) assistant to go to his mail pile on the table and find the pages Gus wrote. When I got the email back, the pages were attached. I read them, it touched my heart. It was Gus' final goodbye to me. His obituary for me. He told Peter to write it with the things Gus gave him. I love you Augustus Waters, very very much, and I will never stop.